Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

7.21.2021

#Fantasy Worth Reading: The Cat Who Would Be King #Bookreview

The Cat Who Would Be King by Bethany Hoeflich is a humorous novella about an alleycat's accidental rise to the top of society.

From the blurb:

The sky is blue.

Water is wet.

And cats most definitely do not talk.

Reporter Thomas Kane knows that boring articles don’t sell newspapers, and as the newest hire at the Daily Gazette, he’s always on the lookout for a tantalizing story to write. When he gets a tip about an interview with Bastien the First, the elusive and presumably dead king of Qar, Thomas assumes it’s a cruel prank by jealous coworkers determined to see him fail.

As a cat, life is far superior for Bastien than his two-legged counterparts. Bastien has settled nicely into retirement where he enjoys a quiet life as a pampered tavern cat while keeping his true identity a secret. Obscurity has its downsides, however, and it’s time for his extraordinary story to be told.

My thoughts:

Bastien the cat has decided it's time to tell his story. And what a story. It seems Bastien's life as a wharf-prowling feline is over when a wizard acquires him for experimentation. The wizard doesn't expect him to survive and tells him so, but Bastien not only survives the experiment, he gains the ability to talk in human speech.

At first the wizard is pleased. He believes he has the perfect spy to serve his mysterious plans. However, the wizard soon discovers that cats rarely do what others want them to do. As the wizard reveals the depths of his evilness, Bastien discovers that the kingdom is tottering on a knife edge. Bastien proves to be the right cat at the right time.

Hoeflich does a wonderful job portraying Bastien's perspective. The reader gets a very credible cat's-eye-view of the wharfs and the castle. The contrast between the characters of Bastien and the wizard is also well done. Bastien searches for kindness and a good meal while the wizard exhibits a maniacal obsession with political power. If you like cats and some humor with your fantasy, you'll enjoy The Cat Who Would Be King

Story links:

Goodreads  Amazon

9.01.2015

Just Another Day in Purgatory


Death and Chronos are pleased to announce the launch of their new novella, Just Another Day in Purgatory.


What’s the book about, beyond the wacky fun and crazy misadventures of our fearless duo? It’s about friendship in the midst of insanity. Trying to find order in the middle of chaos. Living life on the edge and having fun while doing so. It’s about having someone’s back, no matter what.

I’d like to think it has heart. I hope you think so too. Best of all? It's only .99!

Blurb:

Hell freezes over. Heaven heats up. A resort springs to life on the banks of the River Styx and souls don’t want to move on.

Nothing scares our intrepid immortals—except a run-in with a scissor-wielding Fate after messing up the Great Tapestry. She’s the only one capable of cutting their Life Threads.

It’s just another day in Purgatory for Death and Chronos as they sort through the mayhem and keep the universe from spinning out of control. Be sure to bring along your helmet. You never know when Death might offer you a ride on his Harley.

Excerpt:
A towering wall of ice loomed before them, rising from the road with a suddenness that left little time for Death to react. The bike slid sideways for a gut-wrenching moment before stopping just short of pinning their bodies against the frozen behemoth.
“That was close.” Chronos dismounted on legs gone rubbery by the near miss.
“Hm.” Death tapped his metacarpals against the ice. “It’s not cold. It’s—”
“—Gaia.” Chronos forgot to breathe after the name passed through his lips.
“We’d better get out of here. Use your hourglass to take us to Hell.”
“But we didn’t do anything,” Chronos protested even as he yanked the object from his belt.
“I know, but do you want to try explaining that to her? Better to fix the problem first and explain later.”
Chronos twirled the hourglass in his hand. Nothing happened. A fierce wind howled from behind the wall.
“What’s wrong? Will you please hurry before Gaia decides to turn us into garden gnomes?”
“The weather’s affecting it. It’ll take some time to reset.” Chronos fumbled with the instrument as the wind tried to snatch it out of his grip.
“I think we’ve run out of time.”
Death’s words hung in the abyss as Chronos managed to whisk them away from Purgatory and into Evil’s domain. Smoke swirled around them like scented fog. The chill air felt foreign in this place, normally so warm it bordered on steamy.
“Are you going to fix this?” A disembodied voice boomed from the shadows before its owner appeared. Lucien stomped into the room, teeth threatening to chomp through the cigar clenched in an unsmiling mouth.
“But we didn’t do anything.” Chronos sighed. The day hadn’t improved at all.

Links:

7.08.2014

Oh My Words!



In his 1830 novel, Paul Clifford, English author Edward Bulwer-Lytton penned this famous opening:

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents—except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.

Can you say, “Take a breath?”

Or this one from Tristram Shandy, by Laurence Stern:

I wish either my father or my mother, or indeed both of them, as they were in duty both equally bound to it, had minded what they were about when they begot me; had they duly consider'd how much depended upon what they were then doing;--that not only the production of a rational Being was concerned in it, but that possibly the happy formation and temperature of his body, perhaps his genius and the very cast of his mind;--and, for aught they knew to the contrary, even the fortunes of his whole house might take their turn from the humours and dispositions which were then uppermost;--Had they duly weighed and considered all this, and proceeded accordingly,--I am verily persuaded I should have made a quite different figure in the world, from that in which the reader is likely to see me.

You will notice that, despite the capital letters, there are colons and semi-colons separating the words, not periods. By the time I got to the end of it, I’d forgotten what he was talking about.

How about Raymond Federman’s opening line from Double or Nothing:

Once upon a time two or three weeks ago, a rather stubborn and determined middle-aged man decided to record for posterity, exactly as it happened, word by word and step by step, the story of another man for indeed what is great in man is that he is a bridge and not a goal, a somewhat paranoiac fellow unmarried, unattached, and quite irresponsible, who had decided to lock himself in a room a furnished room with a private bath, cooking facilities, a bed, a table, and at least one chair, in New York City, for a year 365 days to be precise, to write the story of another person—a shy young man about of 19 years old—who, after the war the Second World War, had come to America the land of opportunities from France under the sponsorship of his uncle—a journalist, fluent in five languages—who himself had come to America from Europe Poland it seems, though this was not clearly established sometime during the war after a series of rather gruesome adventures, and who, at the end of the war, wrote to the father his cousin by marriage of the young man whom he considered as a nephew, curious to know if he the father and his family had survived the German occupation, and indeed was deeply saddened to learn, in a letter from the young man—a long and touching letter written in English, not by the young man, however, who did not know a damn word of English, but by a good friend of his who had studied English in school—that his parents both his father and mother and his two sisters one older and the other younger than he had been deported they were Jewish to a German concentration camp Auschwitz probably and never returned, no doubt having been exterminated deliberately X * X * X * X, and that, therefore, the young man who was now an orphan, a displaced person, who, during the war, had managed to escape deportation by working very hard on a farm in Southern France, would be happy and grateful to be given the opportunity to come to America that great country he had heard so much about and yet knew so little about to start a new life, possibly go to school, learn a trade, and become a good, loyal citizen.

Obviously, I must prefer shorter openings, since these made the list of American Book Review’s 100 Best Openings!

So what makes for a great opening line? The variety of opinions matches the number of readers, naturally. We all have our favorites, opening lines which keep us riveted to the page. Share your favorite opening line in the comments below. Vive la difference!

1.28.2014

Smack Talk




William Shakespeare has to be the Grand Master of Insults. Really. How many people do you know who can talk smack with such finesse as:

More of your conversation would infect my brain.

-or-

There is no more mercy in him than there is milk in a male tiger.

-and how about this one-

Thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows.

Here is a link to Buzzfeed, showing seventeen Shakespearean insults…featuring cats! It doesn't get any better than that. Buzzfeed Shakespearean Insults

As both a reader and a writer, I appreciate the nuances of insulting someone without having to resort to cussing all the time. The Bard shows us how creative words can truly be.

Here's a link to a Shakespeare Insult Kit. You start with "Thou" and pick one word from each column to create a unique insult, like "Thou goatish, milk-livered, canker-blossom." Or use your own words to make something up and give me a sentence in the comments. Maybe I'll even use one of your creations in an upcoming novel!

6.24.2013

Lessons Yoda Has Taught Me About Writing




Yoda is my hero. He's wise, not afraid to show his age, and tough. Or maybe it's his green color…after all, I like Kermit too.

I'm especially enamored by his syntax. It resonates with me, since sometimes backwards I speak. Alone I am not. Understand me you will. Or maybe not.

Anyway, I've gathered together a few of Yoda's quotes which help me with my writing and I'd like to share them with you here.

"Do or do not. There is no try."

One of the hardest things for a writer to conquer is the dreaded blank page.

What this quote says to me – just fill it. You can fix it later.

"Named must your fear be before banish it you can."

Writers have phobias and fears in abundance, nebulous worries about our stories swirl in our heads, unidentifiable problems we can't control.

What this quote says to me – try to pinpoint what's bothering you instead of spinning your wheels.

"You must unlearn what you have learned."

What this says to me – know the rules before you break them.

"In a dark place we find ourselves, and a little more knowledge lights our way."

What this says to me – learn something new each day.

"When you look at the dark side, careful you must be. For the dark side looks back."

What this says to me – don't wallow in negative emotions. If you're stuck in a rut, do something different to brighten your outlook.

"Ready are you? What know you of ready?"

What this says to me – have humility. There's always room for improvement.

"Always pass on what you have learned."

What this says to me – pay it forward. Help others along the way.

"PATIENCE YOU MUST HAVE."

What is this "patience" you speak of? I don't think I've learned this one yet!

"On many long journeys have I gone. And waited, too, for others to return from journeys of their own. Some return; some are broken; some come back so different only their names remain."

I try to keep this quote in mind for my characters while I'm writing. Everyone's experience in life is different and a story should reflect that same variance in the journey.

Can you apply any of these to your life in general? I know I can. That's why I love a nine-hundred-year-old, wrinkly, green dude so much. Yoda is my hero.

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Laura Eno. Speculative Fiction wordsmith. The author of fifteen novels and novellas ranging from fantasy to romance to horror, she also has stories included in nineteen published anthologies.

The secret to her stories? Spread lies, blend in truths, add a pinch of snark and a dash of tears. Escape into her world. She left the porch light on so you can find your way down the rabbit hole.

 
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