12.22.2015

Merry Christmas - Goofy, gnarly, and gelastic gifts!


We've all gotten at least one ridiculous gift in our lives. You know, the one from the loony aunt who sews dresses for her cats or the immature thirty-year-old brother who thinks he's hilarious. And he's the only one who thinks that. It's the present that made you furrow your brows, shake your head, and laugh out loud. Or maybe, yeah, you're the one who bestowed such a bizarre bounty upon someone. We're going to share with you our goofy gifts. Please tell us about yours!

M. Pax

When I was 14, I got a plastic hanger. I did my best to smile and be enthusiastic about the gift, but it was hard. My sister and cousin received the same in different colors. We may have been surprised by our odd gifts and laughed about them a lot, but, ya know, we've never forgotten them or the aunt who gave them to us. It did help me organize my scarf thingies-can't remember what they were called, they ended in a knot-purses, and belts. So, thanks Aunt Nancy for a yuletide memory that never fades. This is sort of what it looked like, but in red.


*****

Christine Rains

I had one Grandma (my father's mom) that gave my brother and I bath towels every year for Christmas, and for three years in a row, my mother-in-law gave me scrub pads to wash the dishes. I'm going to tell you a story with a happy ending, though. Every year growing up, my great Auntie Jo would give my brother, cousins, and I knitted Christmas sweaters she made herself. Nowadays, people love to get ugly sweaters, but when you're a kid, they are the worst sort of gift. They itched like crazy and were the worst colors. I remember one year getting a sweater with a misshapen reindeer in maroon. When I was fourteen or fifteen, we stopped receiving gifts from Auntie Jo, and I didn't receive another until my son was born. My son was the first grandchild on my mom's side (my Nana's first who is Auntie Jo's sister). Auntie Jo doesn't have any grandchildren of her own. She handmade a beautiful baby blanket. It's stunning. It made my mom cry. All those years of practicing made Auntie Jo a master. I thank her for all those years of ugly sweaters. I wish I appreciated them more back then, but her baby gift was most treasured and her generosity and talent forever remembered.


Cherie Reich

I was five at the time, and each student in our kindergarten class brought a wrapped gift to exchange. We all had numbers, and I watched other kids open up toys, books, coloring books, and the like. We each had to open our gift in front of each other and say what we got. My anticipation and excitement grew until it was my turn to open my gift. And what did I find? Socks. Adult-sized, pink wool knitted socks with a purple button upon them. Where was the toy? The book? The crayons? I threw the socks onto the desk and mumbled what I received. Socks can be a fine gift, don't get me wrong, but most five-year-olds would prefer anything else. And I, unfortunately, don't have a picture of said socks. I believe they might have slipped into a Goodwill donation bag over the years as they were itchy and uncomfortable.

*****

Julie Flanders

Ever since we decided on this topic for a group post I have been racking my brain trying to think of a suitable entry. Try as I might, I simply can't remember a gift I've ever received that qualifies. So I did some googling for weird gifts and immediately found a favorite that I thought I would share instead. An ugly Christmas sweater made just for guinea pigs. Who could resist it? I want to give a fair warning to everyone I know. If you ever get a guinea pig you are going to find this sweater under your tree. 

Thank you, Petsmart! 
*****

River Fairchild

One year I received the book, The Courtship of Miles Standish. That wouldn't be too catastrophic if I had been an adult, although it would probably sit on my shelf unread for all time. The real issue? I was only nine years old.


*****

Gwen Gardner

I don't remember receiving any strange gifts when I was a child. We always received clothes and then one toy. But as an adult, my new husband gave me something really strange. We used to love to go out dancing, and we were pretty good, too. At least, I thought we were. I thought I was holding up my end as a dancing partner...until he gave me two left shoes for Christmas. 





MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM ALL OF US AT UNTETHERED REALMS!

14 comments:

  1. Merry Christmas one and all.
    My youngest brother hates loathes and despises gift shopping. One year he had a solution. He got very very drunk. Then he went shopping. He stopped at the stores/counters where the sales assistants were most attractive. He bought. He came home and wrapped.
    A week later he put gift tags on the parcels.
    There was a LOT of gift swapping that year.

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  2. What a fun post! That baby blanket is so sweet. And LOL, I knew ugly Christmas sweaters existed for dogs, but have never seen one for guinea pigs till now. Crazy!

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  3. I really need to get that guinea pig sweater! Not the animal, just the sweater. I'd like some english muffins too. :)

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  4. Hi Christine - I know I've had some funny presents over the years ... thankfully woolly sweaters never came my way, as I can't wear wool ... That Baby Blanket is just lovely - clever Auntie Jo ... I hate getting the same present year in year out - doesn't inspire me. Those coat-hangers too ... fun - but I bet the giver was being very practical on all fronts ... Cheers to you all - Happy Christmas and New Year - Hilary

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  5. I would have preferred a sweater or book to a hanger. :)

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  6. So...a hanger? LOL. Awesome stories, thanks for sharing :)

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  7. Those are some awesome and hilarious stories. There's been plenty of gifts I've received where I wondered what the giver was thinking.

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  8. Oh, heavens, I am so behind on my posts! One ridiculous gift I've gotten over the years is a Scottish tam (like a beanie). I mean, the same thing from the same extended family member for about four years in a row!

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  9. Great stories! I had a good laugh with that last one, Gwen. Hehehe!

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  10. Great stories! I love the guinea pig sweater.

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  11. I like English muffins (as long as they are the cinnamon and raisin variety) so please give them to me for Christmas. I laughed over each of the gifts.

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  12. That english muffins picture is too funny! I think we've all gotten our share of odd gifts.

    Happy New Year!

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  13. That english muffins picture is too funny! I think we've all gotten our share of odd gifts.

    Happy New Year!

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  14. Great stories! We've all had something we've opened and had to give a fake smile in return, even though we just can't believe what we have been given. My worst present was probably a set of nail and toe clippers from my nan. I wasn 14. I think my brothers received a set of honey pots. Even though it was odd, I still look back on it and laugh. What was my nan thinking?

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