A silly little story for your amusement...
by M. Pax
©2014 M. Pax, all rights reserved
The stupidest superpower in existence is mine, a transparent leg. What the hell is a superhero supposed to do with that? For one, I don’t get a cool name like KickButt Woman. Nope
The other superheroes laugh at me. A lot. That’d be OK if I could be a regular woman. That can’t happen with a transparent leg. No open-toed shoes for me. No shorts. No little black dress. I tried painting the leg, but haven’t found any paint to stick. Stockings work, but they’re out of fashion and since they’re not completely opaque my legs turn different colors. Tights do a better job. I wear them a lot, despite them being way too warm for any season other than winter. The other three seasons, I look really lame and sweaty.
How I got my name… In elementary school, I threw a tantrum about rolling up my pants to wade through a massive puddle at the front entrance, resulting in suspension and labeled a troublemaker. My parents wised up and sent in a doctor’s note about how I always had to wear pants. Always.
The principal made fun of the odd request. Mary Marcy Renner had been in the adjoining nurse’s office, sick, waiting on her mother. Not too sick to hear the whole thing. If you want the world to know your business, make Mary Marcy your best friend. She dubbed me ‘Dork Pants’.
On my fourteenth birthday, the superhero council moved me to the hero academy. I don’t fit in there either. Lasso Girl decided Dork Pants was the perfect alias for me. Everyone calls me that, including my trainers and teachers.
I can’t do anything special, nothing better than anyone else. I’m slow. I’m clumsy. I can’t fly or jump. And the one time I tried out a cape, well, Lasso Girl will be out of her leg casts soon.
While visiting her in the hospital, because I was forced to, I discovered I should embrace my dorkiness. It makes sick people laugh and feel good. I keep working on it. As far as I figure, making people feel good is the best superpower there is.